Monday, April 11, 2011

cutting my loses

I was at a loss the past week. I was at a crossroad. Crossroads are never fun but, just like everything that we have to face, it is a learning experience. You learn things about yourself and the people around you.

I have decided to call it quits. And being so near the end of my program, my decision is not a popular choice among my friends, co-workers and bosses. But knowing myself, I know it's the right choice. I'm happy with my decision. It's a decision I should have made three semesters ago when I came back.

I wrote my adviser an emotional letter explaining my decision. I was supposed to tell her personally today but she was sick so thus the letter.

I'm sharing it here because I think its the best way to explain my decision to those who care to know the reason.

I just want to clean my slate and start fresh. Because I know wherever I'm headed, I'm going to make waves!

Two years from now, when I'm wearing that blue hood, I will read this again and smile and say "I knew it! I was right!"

- - -

Hi Ma'am,

I hope you are feeling better.

I went with Royson to Shopwise Barasan earlier to inform you of my decision. I spent the weekend to reflect on my possible courses of action and finally, I have made up my mind.

I'm going to cut my loses.

I think and feel that will not be able to finish all of my requirements given the time and my lack of focus and motivation. I don't know what happened why I lost my drive. Probably because I let the whole thing dragged on so long the way it did. It was my fault compounded by other factors. I feel I am not the same person who sat in your financial management class eight years ago. My circumstances have changed and so did my interests. The career path I drew for myself years ago is now different from the career path I am on. My path is now towards being an educator in the academe. The PT clinic/hospital I wanted to put up back then is now temporarily shelved. Perhaps, one day my path will change again and lead me to that. We'll never know, but for now, I am happy with where I am headed. And with that, I would have to say goodbye to the program.

I don't feel its a big loss though. It's too bad that I will not get the degree but the things that I have learned and have applied will always be with me. Enrolling in the course also gave me a chance to meet you, and other wonderful teachers like Ma'am Jen and Ma'am Myra. You have no idea how you have inspired me to be a better student and a better teacher to my own students. For that I am eternally grateful.

Thank you ma'am for the support and the guidance. Thank you for giving me a chance to grow. Rest assured that I will use all the things that I have learned.

I am now planning to apply at NTTC to take up MHPEd. I am actually excited about it. When I'm finished with that degree 2 years from now, I plan to combine the things I know from both programs and apply it to the college :)

I hope one day I get to work with you again. Thank you again, ma'am, for everything!


  1. This is a very heartfelt letter, Fer. It is a sad time but I'm sure that you have made the right decision. Choosing to walk a different route is indeed life-changing, but it enriches our soul & reboots our minds -- giving us a fresh start. If in the end it proves to be a wrong choice, I am certain that it would still have been worth taking a detour as it would help us make wiser decisions in the future. Good luck & enjoy your chosen path xxx

  2. Thank you ayms! Even if I'm happy with my decision, I still feel the loss. Pero na-o-overpower yun ng excitement of starting anew. I still have to prove myself. Not to other but to me. :)